V12 bargains

Wow. If you are in the market for a V12, then a brave person you must be. There’s a lot of fuel to burn and potentially monstrous repairs bills on the horizon, but if you must…

BMW 750iL (E38)

We just couldn’t resist having a nosey around the internet for BMW 750iL to see what was on offer and if you find a 750iL with less than 100k miles on the clock, as we did, you’ll gain respect. For vaguely in the region of £15k you get something that’s smart, rather lovely, is super comfortable with decent handling to boot. The ride is peerless: not too soft but reassured with what we might call ‘respectful’ suspension. Inside there’s plenty of kit and the long wheelbase means that if you are carting friends and family about, they’ll have acres of legroom and headroom. It’s chauffeur time (not Hammer time, which is something else altogether). The 5.4-litre engine is sweet as a nut but the downside is that it’ll only give you around 13-16mpg, which is rather horrific. Expect to pay between £12k-£20k for a decent one, but don’t go for high milers because you can bet your bottom dollar there’ll be plenty of costly work to do.

Mercedes-Benz S600 (W140)

No self-respecting list containing V12s should be without a Merc and the tank-like S-Class is something of a must-have, too.

Let’s face down the downsides (there’s not many) first. 1. You’ll look like a gangster if you turn up at Sainsbury’s in a W140. 2. You’ll burn fuel at a prodigious rate. 3. Prepare to empty your bank account on numerous occasions because repairs will require some limb amputation.

So that’s the qualifying stuff out the way, let’s get to the good bits. The absolute best thing about a W140 is that it is powered by a beautifully monstrous 6.0-litre V12 engine that produces 394hp and 420lb-ft of torque. This engine, designated M120, is capable of dragging a dead horse though soft sand, but if there is no deceased equine in tow it’ll accelerate from 0-60mph in around 6 seconds. If you are feeling saucy it can achieve an official top speed of 155mph and a subsequent prison sentence. Performance aside, it’s got all the gear, including self-closing doors and boot, dual-pane window glazing, automatic windscreen wipers with rain sensors, ESP (S 600 Coupe) and brake assist. You’re looking at £6,000–£12,000 for cars in respectable condition, though low-mileage minters can push beyond that. These cars are incredibly well-built and feel like they're hewn from granite. Sure, they’re heavy, but they glide over roads like a flying carpet powered by a jet engine.

Toyota Century

We wrote about the Toyota Century as far back as 2020 and then we waxed lyrical about what a rare gem this is. And rare it is, because only five are in the UK. It’s rarer than a Ferrari F40 – indeed 1,880% rarer than the Italian supercar. So, what is it? This is a car designed to ferry diplomats, oligarchs, royalty and the odd dictator around. It comes with curtains, and that tells you pretty much all you need to know about the target market: they simply don’t want to be seen. That said, if you can find one in the classifieds, have a go because it’s unlikely another will crop up for quite a while. So, what’s the draw? Well, early cars had a V8 4-litre 190bhp engine under the bonnet which, in the context of V12s, suggests boat-like performance, so Toyota plonked a 5-litre 270hp V12 in there to address the issue. Even then this updated version of the Century is in no danger of rivalling Mercs or BMWs for performance but who in the world cares when you have curtains, automatic closing doors, virtually no engine sound and reclining leather seats that can massage you into a deep sleep? If you want one, then expect to pay between £15k-£30k for a decent V12.

Jaguar XJ-S

Standard really. A Jaguar XJ-S is a meat-and-drink V12. If a V12 is a must-have, the XJ-S has to be a consideration. Why? Well, it looks wonderful, it’s a British icon, the epitome of class and it commands respect. If you are driving a 5.3-litre V12 XJ-S grand tourer then expect an irritating level of interest in your motor. Admiring glances are part of the territory with XJ-S owners. The Jaguar XJ-S is unashamedly British: an interior full of wood and leather, a growling engine, and enough waft to make motorway cruising feel regal gives you an insight into what you are letting yourself in for. But what about running costs and all that? Well, you can get replacement parts quite easily and there’s no shortage of specialists out there who will give you all the reassurance you’ll need. The XJ-S can be somewhat unreliable and there’s some rusty clunkers out there replete with electrical gremlins and poor maintenance history that’ll hurt your wallet as well as your pride. Air suspension (if fitted) can be temperamental as can the climate control, but if you pay at the top end, you can minimise trips to the specialist. Prices range between £2k-£30k, but if you pay at the lower end, you are likely looking at ‘a project’.

Aston Martin DB7 V12 Vantage

You’ve moved up to another level if you are thinking of buying an Aston Martin. It’s in a different league in terms of cachet when compared to a Jag, Merc or Beemer. You have an Aston Martin, you are therefore James Bond, regardless of your gender or pronoun. People with Aston Martins have a swagger and the ability to boast without being exposed. It’s all about the badge. Expect to pay around £20k-£25k, which is conservative, so if you want a really decent one you might pay double that. What do you get for your money then? Of course, you get that badge and bragging rights at dinner parties, but aside from that you’ll be blessed with a 5.9-litre V12 engine that goes like stink. It’s nice inside, the ride can be a little notchy and, if you can avoid a visit to an Aston Martin specialist, you’ll still be able to feed your family and put a roof over your head. The thing is, these cars need to be looked after: yes servicing won’t be cheap, but that is an investment to avoid more costly sagas later on. This is all about nipping things in the bud before something more terminal rears its ugly head.

Bentley Continental GTC (first generation – 2003-2011)

Who do you think you are: Cristiano Ronaldo? There was a time, in the noughties, when a Bentley Continental, be it the saloon or the Coupe, was a requirement for Premiership footballers. Pretty much every day, when there was a scandal involving some sort of misdemeanour by football’s elite, the miscreant would be filmed flying through the gates of their respective football ground in a desperate attempt to avoid journalists, who had nothing better to do with their lives. Continentals were the thing, and if you want to revisit those heady days, then you can pick one up for around £25k, and it’ll be a fairly decent example with less than 100k miles on the clock. Why buy one? Again, like the Aston, it’s up another level. Owning a Bentley is golf club car park nirvana: you’ll take your time relieving your bag of clubs from the boot so that people will notice how nice your motor is. At the bar, expect the words: ‘Blimey, Steve’s gone up in the world hasn’t he? Has he come into some money or what? Who died?’ Apart from the statement element to this, you do get a lot of a car for your money: a beautiful interior, a belter of a 6.0 litre twin-turbocharged W12 engine with a power output of 552hp and four-wheel drive as standard. It’s suitably quick too: 0-62mph takes just 4.8 seconds while top speed is an impressive 197mph. You can’t say much fairer than that.